I had an epiphany! All of this time I have been wanting the reason to be something or someone else. Attaching and detaching myself from any and everything that threatens my peace of mind and piece of love. Allowing things to be the distraction from the real problem. That problem is you, your inability and unwillingness to love me the way I deserve. To return the loyalty, trust and security that I have provided you. Read More
Twenty two years ago I began a relationship that had no destination at all. I did not want a committed relationship, and he didn’t want a committed relationship. We had a clear understanding about that if nothing else. I was not a woman who was going to open my legs to more than one man even if I was single! If we were making a decision to do this friends with benefits thing then we had to get clear on that. If I am not sleeping around he was not going to be sleeping around! Hang out with who you want but Read More
Growing up I have always had more male friends than female; however, that has both been a blessing and a curse. There is many reasons as to why I have come to that conclusion of it being a blessing and a curse. But, first I must give you a bit of a backstory. My husband, who is has now passed away and I had known each other eleven years so generally we hung around the same group of people. It’s how we met in the first place. Most of these friends including my husband played on the football team so everyone was pretty close, and as for me I did go to every single one of their games to support my friends. Always playing video games and playing football in the streets was our thing. You can say we were definitely a tight knit group throughout our grade school days. After high school though we did separate some. What used to be everyday interactions became once a months to once every so often. We were growing up, living our lives it was understandable. We always participated in each other’s big life events though as in weddings, baby showers, house warming’s, and birthdays. But, as far as other communication outside of that it was far and in between. After my husbands recent passing it did occur to us all how important it is for us to be closer to each other and stay in each other’s lives as much as possible. But, man did I not realize how close that meant for some of them.
It started out with everyone of course not wanting me to be alone, and I was looking for any company not to be alone at this time in my life. So, I was always with one of them. It was the craziest thing though how each of them would slowly one by one start confessing their love for me Read More
I have never been the type of person who hung around with a large group of women, although it seemed like I had a gravitational pull on people. Growing up my mother was the same way, she had sisters and one main friend for as long as I could remember. So, I never relied on friendships to sustain me; Some women thrive off of having friends to hang out with, me I sometimes dread it. I hate other peoples’ expectation of me! Not only are there expectations but there’s jealousy amongst each other, a tug of war for attention, animosity, back stabbing, and just too much damn drama. Truth be told your circle is your most dangerous place Read More
I have been in a relationship with my now husband for over two decades now and I have always felt as if his best friend was a hater. He says he supports our relationship but low key he does not! He does little sly things that piss me off, and I feel it has been on purpose. My husband is so passive that he doesn’t see it, or just doesn’t want to see it. I am always the one who’s overreacting or trying to control his friendship. NO, I’m controlling my environment and my sanity. If I just decided to say what I feel about his friend when his friend is around he will be pissed. Instead I have resorted to talking to my husband personally about things that piss me off. At this point that’s not really working for me because