I had an epiphany! All of this time I have been wanting the reason to be something or someone else. Attaching and detaching myself from any and everything that threatens my peace of mind and piece of love. Allowing things to be the distraction from the real problem. That problem is you, your inability and unwillingness to love me the way I deserve. To return the loyalty, trust and security that I have provided you. Read More

   Twenty two years ago I began a relationship that had no destination at all. I did not want a committed relationship, and he didn’t want a committed relationship. We had a clear understanding about that if nothing else. I was not a woman who was going to open my legs to more than one man even if I was single! If we were making a decision to do this friends with benefits thing then we had to get clear on that. If I am not sleeping around he was not going to be sleeping around! Hang out with who you want but Read More

Growing up I have always had more male friends than female; however, that has both been a blessing and a curse. There is many reasons as to why I have come to that conclusion of it being a blessing and a curse. But, first I must give you a bit of a backstory. My husband, who is has now passed away and I had known each other eleven years so generally we hung around the same group of people. It’s how we met in the first place. Most of these friends including my husband played on the football team so everyone was pretty close, and as for me I did go to every single one of their games to support my friends. Always playing video games and playing football in the streets was our thing. You can say we were definitely a tight knit group throughout our grade school days. After high school though we did separate some. What used to be everyday interactions became once a months to once every so often. We were growing up, living our lives it was understandable. We always participated in each other’s big life events though as in weddings, baby showers, house warming’s, and birthdays. But, as far as other communication outside of that it was far and in between. After my husbands recent passing it did occur to us all how important it is for us to be closer to each other and stay in each other’s lives as much as possible. But, man did I not realize how close that meant for some of them.

It started out with everyone of course not wanting me to be alone, and I was looking for any company not to be alone at this time in my life. So, I was always with one of them. It was the craziest thing though how each of them would slowly one by one start confessing their love for me Read More